The Axel Chronicles
by SlushieMonsterOfDOOM
Summary: This is funny ppl. If u come across it, plz read and comment! I luv ur feedback. This is a series of FanFics about everyone's favorite pyroand his best friend... Axel and Roxas, if you knew!
1. Yaoi Anyone: Pt 1!

The Axel Chronicles of Doom (…and Destruction…)

The Axel Chronicles of Doom (…and Destruction…)

Story 1: Yaoi Anyone?

Part One

**Author's Note: OMG…I have the frickin' English Dub theme song of ONE PEICE stuck in my head!! Lord in Heaven HELP ME!!**

Axel had been innocently drinking milk from a glass in his room when the horror had happened. Roxas had entered the room and had his finger up in the air as if about to ask a question. Axel averted his gaze from the milk to Roxas and raised his eyebrows.

"Axel, I have a question," began Roxas.

"Mmmmmm?"

"What's Yaoi?"

Axel spewed milk all down the front of himself and looked in horror up at Roxas. "Y-yaoi?" he stuttered, verifying that he had heard right.

"Yes…and what's AkuRoku?"

"OH GOOD LORD MAN! WHAT FOUL WEBSITE HAVE YOU BEEN ON?" demanded Axel with a disgusted expression on his face.

"Well, you see, I'm fairly popular on a video site called YouTube, and apparently I'm a girl. So, anyway this person asked me to do an AkuRoku Yaoi video for her and I told her yes. The thing is, I wasn't really sure who either of those characters were so I thought I'd ask you!"

"OK, first thing's first…this girl is a sick, SICK person. Second thing…YOU ACCEPTED THE VIDEO REQUEST WITHOUT CONSOLING WITH ME FIRST??"

"Well…um…,"

"You stupid, stupid boy.

Anyway, I guess I'd better tell you. OK, let's start from the beginning. It all started when some crazy girls somewhere in Japan started obsessing over bishounen, and they started realizing that usually bishounen were friends with other bishounen…and they started to wonder…_what if these bishounen are really GAY for each other…_and THINGS started to churn in their twisted mind, my friend….THINGS!! Soon, they started drawing pictures of the poor bishounen that they thought were gay having sex and kissing ect. And called it…YAOI! Kinda like the Creation, but much less complicated and much more 3vil."

This explanation left Roxas in a disgusted stupor. "So…so…AkuRoku is me and…you…as in…YAOI?? And I have to take pictures of us KISSING??"

"Waitaminute….you said PICTURES?? You have to take live pictures? What 3vil is this?"

"Well you see…I got so famous because I have such high-quality footage of things that happen among the Organization…that's mainly because I AM in the Organization…and…stuff…," Roxas looked away guiltily.

"So YOU were the one who posted my baby pictures online??"

"Uh...huh…,"

"You know what? Get out of my room. Go talk to Larxene…she's a girl otaku…maybe SHE likes Yaoi."

"But she's--,"

"Out."

"She's--,"

"I'm sorry. I have to ponder your stupidity while throwing up my last three meals into the toilet."

"F-fine."

**To Be Continued**

**Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed the first segment of the first story of my new series: The Axel Chronicles. I've always wanted to do a Yaoi spoof ******


	2. Yaoi Anyone: Pt 2!

Yaoi Anyone

Yaoi Anyone?

Part 2!

**Author's Note: Well, hello again, my friends! I now give you the second installment of the Axel Chronicles!! Maniacal Laughter Let us now see what Evil--IMEAN Larxene thinks of Roxas's new take on Yaoi!! (Really, I don't hate Yaoi all that much, I just think AkuRoku is a **_**little **_**creepy, don'cha knows!) **

"Uh…uh…Larxene?" stammered Roxas from outside Larxene's room.

"WHAT?? I'm on a M-rated site, ENJOYING myself!!" screamed the blonde-haired, demonic, female counterpart of Organization XIII.

If poor Roxas had been an Anime character, his mouth would've turned into a small X, and a hugely exaggerated sweat-drop would've appeared on the left side of his eye. "Uh…uh…L-Larxene, d-do you l-like Y-Yaoi?"

There was a huge crash from inside Larxene's room and a few heavy stomping sounds, and suddenly, the door came flying open, whacking Roxas straight in the face, full-force. He fell to the ground, tear droplets forming in his already semi-weepy eyes. He bit his lip hard and tried to keep from crying as a steady stream of blood dripped down from his smashed nose. "W-why'd you do that Larxene-sama?" question Roxas, failing to sustain his manliness.

"DID YOU SAY _**YAOI?**__**"**_ demanded Larxene, ignoring the tearful Roxas. Her eyes seemed to glow.

"Uhm, yes…," replied Roxas, some of his manliness returning as he stood up and stuffed a tissue up his nose. ____

"I love YAOI!!" she screamed.

"Well, you see, I promised this fan-girl that I would take Yaoi pictures of me and Axel, so I was wondering if you could take them, since I've never disappointed a fan before…," explained Roxas quickly. (Even though that had not been his original intention.)

"Say no more!" exclaimed Larxene, throwing her hands into the air in emphasis. "Of course I will do it…if my Axey-poo gets shirtless, that is!"

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know you two were an item, ma'am…so maybe I shouldn't…," began Roxas, a bit confused by Larxene's slightly degrading nickname for Axel.

Larxene only laughed. "I said I wanted him shirtless, because I think he's sexy. HE on the other hand thinks I'm icky."

"S-sexy…ma'am?"

"Uhhhmmm…_sexy…_adj. meaning flirty, seductive, or risqué…," Larxene's voice trailed off.

"Oh, yah, and Larxene," Roxas began, blushing and starting to tear-up a bit, "I-I'm still a virgin so…don't…um…just…don't…er…um…things…Axel…please…not…gay…pregnant…--,"

"ROXAS-KUN! I'm not that evil! I'm not going to make you "do it!"" exclaimed Larxene, seemingly flabbergasted.

"R-right…um, well, I think I'm going to go downstairs and talk to Demyx for a bit, okay?" choked Roxas, dashing off, his face still flushed.

Roxas ran for the stairs, his short legs moving as fast as they could. He didn't notice the Axel that was standing right in front of him, and the two collided. Axel didn't make a sound as he hit the ground. His face was deathly pale and his eyes were huge.

"R-Roxas, I heard your conversation with Larxene a-and I-I…I'm going to have to kiss you?" he said, his voice high with worry. This was the first time Roxas had ever seen him so beat-up.

"Axel, you have to understand, it's for a fan, and…,"

"I DON'T CARE!" yelled Axel. The ground got hot with Axel's fiery fury and Axel sat up, pulling his knees up under his chin and burying his face in his arms. He didn't move for a very long time.

"A-Axel…," whispered Roxas looking down at his best friend.

"Go'way," said Axel, his voiced muffled and broken.

"B-but, I…we…," started Roxas.

"Just go away!" Roxas was silent for a moment, taken aback, but, he followed his friend's orders and proceeded slowly down the stairs, wondering why Axel was so emotional about one simple kiss from a guy. _Could there be some connection with his past? _Roxas wondered.

**To Be Continued.**

**Well, thank you for keeping up with my story! It's starting to get more serious now! Don't worry, it will be funny again soon, just as soon as we get Axel's issue out of the way. Oh and, here's a spoiler: IT DOES HAVE TO DO WITH AXEL'S PAST! evil laughter BUT I'M NOT TELLING YOU HOW!! YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL I UN-LAZIFY MYSELF AND DECIDE TO TYPE THE NEXT CHAPTER!! :3**


	3. Yaoi Anyone Pt 3!

Yaoi Anyone?

Part 3!

Axel knew he was acting like a child, but he just _didn't _want to have something like this happen to him ever again. He had a few memories of his previous life, and let me tell you, they weren't pretty. He lived with his alcoholic father, and every night his father would come home drunk. One evening, when he came home, he took things too far.

Axel still remembered his father's smile and the knife's gleam as he approached Axel and started sawing at his shirt's stress points. Axel remembered crying. He had been nine years old: the perfect age. Too young to defend himself, yet old enough to understand what was going on.

After that, Axel had run away. He didn't associate with any males until Xehanort found him, and then, Roxas. Roxas had changed everything he thought was true, and now, it was all falling apart again. Axel picked his head back up and wiped the tears out of his eyes. He was going to tell Roxas why he was so against this idea, he was sure Roxas would understand.

Nonetheless, Axel felt nervous and he knocked on Roxas's bedroom door.

**One painful explanation later…**

"Yeah, I kinda figured it was something like that," said Roxas, after Axel told his story.

Axel looked uneasily around the room. "So, what are we going to tell Larxene and…your…er…fan?"

"I'll tell Larxene that we changed our minds, and as for the fan…," Roxas smiled demonically. "We'll just have to give her the next best thing!" He held up a digital camera and his smile grew substantially. Axel grinned.

"Wow…this is WAY better than yaoi!" exclaimed Axel as he and Roxas looked down at a sleeping Demyx clutching a Little Mermaid plushy in footie pajamas [Demyx, not the doll].

Roxas made a sound in agreement as he snapped the tenth photo from a tenth different angle. When he was done taking the Demyx-degrading picture, he held up the camera to Axel. "You said you knew where Marly's secret hideout was, didn't you?"

Axel nodded. He was just glad things were back to normal.

**Yaoi Anyone?: End.**

**Author's Note: Hello all you FanFic peoples! I'm glad you liked this first installment of the Axel Chronicles enough to read to its happy conclusion. DON'T WORRY! If you liked this one, there WILL be more to this series!! ^_^**


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